Visiting the Ajanta Caves with Lama Dawa

“If we practice dharma depending on ordinary substance lineage power, we cannot have deep spiritual power.  The source of visible power is always invisible power… If we cannot connect visible substance power with invisible substanceless source, then it is quickly exhausted.  This is especially true today, when easterners and westerners are making dharma factories, trying to bargain with substance lineage for power and gain.

-THINLEY NORBU

Like it appeared to be his habit regarding so many ‘future’ developments, Lama Dawa introduced his idea of visiting the Buddhist caves in Ajanta already in September 2009, way before it actually happened.  He informed me from Kathmandu over the phone, “You and I have to go to Ajanta together, find out about flights and hotels.”  Then he repeated, “You and I will really have to go there together in this lifetime.”  He sounded absolutely determined.  So I did the needful research, only to hear in another phone call a few days later something like, “Not this year, I am not feeling well and the place is too hot at this time of the year anyways.”

Many months passed and nothing was ever mentioned again, until Lama stayed at our house in Goa for eight weeks, late December 2012 to late February 2013.  We had picked him and Khandro Kalsang up in Nepal and flown together down to South India.  When he had reached our home close to midnight on December 26^th, despite his weak hip joints that usually gave him much pain, especially when climbing and descending stairs, he rushed up the one flight of stairs, immediately claimed the large bed in our bedroom as his, almost jumped into perfect lotus seat on top of it and stated, “You and I have to go to Ajanta together when we are done here.”  And his entire face lit up beaming with delight.

He was like that.  Important things were said exactly when the moment had come to say them.  After a close to 15-hour journey from door to door, the last thing I would have thought about would be another trip.  But Lama, at least in his dealings with me, always disclosed his purpose and intention right at the start of any venture.  He never said more than what needed to be said, but at least that much he shared.  So, the purpose of the 2-month respite in Goa had now been officially declared right at the outset: to get well, and then to visit Ajanta.

The mood for the trip built up over the weeks while Rinpoche regained physical strength.  Despite of all his displays of humbleness and ordinariness and the almost complete concealing of his light and power, Lama was anything but an ordinary man, not even an ordinary yogi hung up on any concept of being one.  Many an evening he sat with us on the terrace and shared stories, about his yogic family lineage (as a result he also introduced us to his family lineage protector practice).  But most extensively he talked about the glorious siddha past of India.  He spoke so much about it, really revealing a lot about ancient India that is not in the texts (or if it is there, then concealed in twilight language).  It truly was amazing. 

I was such a fool not to record these fairly regular evening talks, which usually lasted for a little over an hour.  I should have put the smart phone on the coffee table and press the ‘record’ button.  But it didn’t even occur to me that I should.  Rinchen and I were just sitting with him and Kalsang mesmerized by his talk, forgetting everything else.  It was as if he was sensitizing us to something important, of which we couldn’t fathom exactly what it was, at least not on the level of the ordinary waking consciousness.  Nonetheless and in another way, sensitized we were, indeed.  Even though he didn’t give any formal teachings (I actually had requested him not to, and to instead focus on his health), while with us during these weeks he shared more – more of the tendrel that personally connected us, more of his vast storehouse of merit going back to times immemorial, more of his ancient roots, the fertile soil of the teachings here in the land where the Buddha appeared in this world – than he did ever before or would do ever after.

By Losar in the beginning of February his whole body was literally sparkling, bursting with

energy.  And to all in our small dharma group who attended the celebration, the party in the evening will remain etched in their mindstream.  Neill played the guitar and sang Hindi songs that Lama requested and then Lama himself sang Hindi movie songs and serenaded the ladies like they probably hadn’t been serenaded before.  Rarely have I seen him so happy (but then of course, I haven’t seen him so much in the course of an entire lifetime… it’s all relative, right).

A day before the flight to Bombay and Aurangabad (the nearest airport to Ajanta) he called me to the room and explained, “In case I will have a seizure in a public place, you will have to press certain points on my head.  If you do, it will be over very quickly.”  Then, with his right hand he guided both my hands successively to the points on his skull that he wanted pressed, three times and admonished me not to forget.

We got from Goa to Bombay airport for an almost four hour layover (the connecting flight was late).  Once we had arrived in the transit hall, he looked for the bar and demanded wine – and lots of it.  He didn’t mind that it was of shabby quality and way overpriced (something like 12 dollars a small glass).   He talked loud and dirty sex and other obscenities, which made people around us uncomfortable.  They began staring in our direction, but this didn’t faze him in the least. 

He was on a roll, and mind you, all of this display was a teaching however of a kind that is too much to handle for most, especially when delivered in the plain view of a disapproving public.  But we were going to Ajanta, right!  And not as ordinary sightseers, but in order to make an energy connection in this present bodymind – with our voices, our flesh and bones – linking what is conceptualized as ‘past’ through the (also conceptualized) ‘present moment’ with what is conceptualized as ‘future’ (which of course, when misunderstood gives birth to a million conceptualizations more).  He probably tried to make abundantly clear that we NOT regard ourselves as ordinary tourists, but as yogis and yoginis on a pilgrimage.   

How much he tried in the last twenty years of his life to lift people out of the prison of conventionality, and how little and infrequently people actually understood what he was trying to do! 

Anyway, to all appearances that is, to crown it all he also tried to kiss one of the ladies in our small group fully on the mouth with what looked like a perfect tongue kiss in the making, in front of everyone.  However, he stopped himself in the middle when it became obvious that the person in question could not understand the underlying intention, so different from the usually accepted meaning of the gesture.  He always tried everything to break concepts, but never forced the issue when a certain level of resistance was encountered.  When our flight was finally called, everyone except him was happy that the spectacle was over, at least this part of it.

Then, while in the bus from the gate to the plane Lama had himself a seizure.  Well, he had already announced to me in Goa that he would, or at least prepared me for it.  At that moment, he and I were separated from the rest of the group.  They had taken seats, whereas we were on the rear platform of the bus, he sitting in his wheelchair, I standing next to him. 

This being Bombay airport and not a western airport, the bus was naturally overcrowded.  If you have travelled in India you know what level of overcrowding I am talking about.  When the seizure set in, I was stunned, absolutely taken by surprise.  I am sure this kind of seizure always had been very painful and uncomfortable for Lama to experience, but at least in this case, from the outside it almost looked serene.  Yes, there were convulsions, the body shook, the eyeballs rolled, but through my eyes it appeared like an unfolding celebration in slow motion.  It actually looked beautiful, like some tremendous benevolent energy release.  Lama had to wake me from my stupor, by shouting, “Press the points.”  I did.  Whereupon the seizure almost immediately stopped, as he had said in Goa, that it would.

Naturally, the people around us were shocked and tried to move away from us as far as possible, even more so those who had witnessed Lama’s raucous behavior in the bar.  When we descended from the bus one of the staff who had also been on the rear platform walked up to us and asked, “Can this gentleman fly in this condition?”  Lama assured him that he could, and in order to make his point, got up from his wheelchair and walked all the way from the front stair to the stair at the rear entrance, as wheelchair passengers are always supposed to sit in the last row, near the restrooms.  In India, they let such things, like Lama’s (for a lack of a better word) eccentricities gracefully go.  In the US he would probably have stayed grounded and forced to accept hospital care, like it or not.

We arrived in Aurangabad very late.  Some more people joined us there the next day, to make it a group of eight instead of five.

The Ajanta caves are a 2- to 3- hour taxi ride away from Aurangabad.  We went there a day later, to find that much had changed since Lama’s first visit in the early 1970s.  For example, no vehicles were allowed to approach the entrance except for an official bus that ferried visitors from the nearby parking lot to the site.  But the bus stop was a more than a kilometer walk away from the parking lot.  Lama couldn’t walk that far.  So we asked one of the small fast food stalls nearby if we could borrow a chair, on which we carried Lama to the bus stop.  He was so incredibly light that day, easy to carry, even more so as there were three men so that one could take a break in between to catch his breath.  We asked the person at the bus stop to safeguard the chair for us for our return to the car.

But Lama wouldn’t be Lama if he didn’t surprise us the next day when we visited the Ellora caves, where we were confronted with a similar situation and tried to solve it the same way by carrying Lama on a chair.  It was impossible.  That next day Lama was not feather light any longer but as heavy as 1000 pounds of lead.  We couldn’t even lift the chair with Lama on it let alone carry him along.  We had to find a wheelchair.  He refrained from commenting.  To him nothing had changed.

These are little details, easy to overlook.  But again, these are teachings.  Don’t take anything regarding a true (not a sham) Lama for granted.  True lamas can behave raucously with elegance – and not really mean it, and neither would they care in the least.  They can have an epileptic seizure and let the activation of pressure points stop the same seizure within a second.  They can be, without changing anything in terms of outside appearance like size or height, a mere 25 Kgs light or a 1000 pounds heavy.  They can do and be all kinds of things, because they are never stuck in appearance, and never separate from dharmakaya.  What a blessing to be with such a Lama, such a genuine guru – and yet experience his indirect hints at his powers in a rather matter-of-fact way: not going gaga over them, and not becoming overly holy or sanctimonious.

At the actual entrance we found some porters who carried him on a sedan chair.  At the end of their two hours of carrying they were rewarded with a huge tip.  When in India, almost as a rule, Lama liked to tip the lowly lavishly – except for the few he saw were non-deserving.  Hard to tell how he determined such matters.  However, it was clear that the withholding of a tip was never accidental, but also not solely due to bad service rendered.  There were other aspects that he saw, invisible to ordinary vision. 

Reaching the caves finally, Lama was deeply moved.  He had a strong past connection with the place; so much was obvious for one with eyes to see.  It seemed to feel like a homecoming for him.   He gave explanations about some of the artwork quite different from what can be read in the guidebook.  But mostly he was happy, and treated all of us with extra warmth and love, for example by holding hands while sitting in silence for a short while, at the entrance or inside of a cave.

At one point when we had just come out one particular cave, I don’t recall which one he grabbed me by one hand, pulled me forcefully close to him, while whispering, “This is the right place and moment! It has to be done now!”  With his he lifted his right arm to the sky the hand in the threatening gesture, banning evil obstructing and interrupting forces.  Then he laughed and pushed me away.  In some ways I felt a bit bewildered, in another sense an inner knowing only commented, “Of course.”  What ever he does in such moments is of significance… as long as the ego doesn’t blow it by blowing itself out of proportion.  Then it becomes insignificant after the fact.

Inside the cave with the large stupa, one of the most famous and most photographed caves, at the moment when we visited filled with a large group of Indian tourists, Lama started to chant the refuge formula in Sanskrit, very slowly and deep from the belly.  The whole place was reverberating with his voice, and not only his voice but with the joy of genuine devotion to the dharma.  Some very old bond was being renewed. 

Afterwards many of the strangers came to Lama, tried to touch his feet and asked for his blessings.  It did not matter to them that they did not know him.   It did not matter that he wasn’t wearing any visible signs pointing to one kind or another of religious affiliation, like a robe.  (In India, Lama preferred to move around in civvies & incognito, always, never in robes.)  However, they had recognized something deeply embedded in their own mindstream with the help of a certain inborn openness to finer energies that most Indians still possess even under the veneer of modernity, and that is the quality of devotion.  Their inborn affinity to feelings and acts of devotion immediately reacted to Lamas expression of his genuine devotion to the dharma. 

All of this was beautiful to witness.  We left the caves fully energized and joyfully.  Lama was indeed very satisfied with the trip.